How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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