I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Welp...herpes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize