I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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