1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize