Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
