ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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