i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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