i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
