used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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