Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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