It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
