i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
