My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
