Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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