I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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