Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm really busy with my period
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