i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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