I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
