if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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