accomplished twins. life is a go
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize