i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
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