We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize