the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
