he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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