sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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