Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
