we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
