i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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