please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
