We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i came on her dog
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
