Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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