Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
