SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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