just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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