do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
