she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
