Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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