fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize