Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize