I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
