a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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