meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
