4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
