WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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