There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
