You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize