and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.