Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

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  (865): One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat. http://tfl.nu/8o5d
  Replies (18) Good night (2998) Bad night (782)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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  (763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5
  Replies (8) Good night (4755) Bad night (1229)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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  (513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7
  Replies (22) Good night (1717) Bad night (7206)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

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  (713): He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop. http://tfl.nu/xdpv
  Replies (19) Good night (6048) Bad night (790)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I would never do this in real life. It's only college.

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  (480): I would never do this in real life. It's only college. http://tfl.nu/l8vq
  Replies (4) Good night (2748) Bad night (882)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?

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  (541): theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house? http://tfl.nu/uvha
  Replies (12) Good night (720) Bad night (2011)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk

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  (613): Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk http://tfl.nu/x5i0
  Replies (6) Good night (1407) Bad night (492)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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  (773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp
  Replies (10) Good night (1701) Bad night (592)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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  (281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc
  Replies (11) Good night (479) Bad night (1538)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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  (267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs
  Replies (20) Good night (681) Bad night (1923)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.

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  (815): We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever. http://tfl.nu/gebx
  Replies (0) Good night (715) Bad night (503)
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  (916): View more from California

  She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!

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  (916): She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come! http://tfl.nu/rtar
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (236)
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  (408): View more from California

  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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  (408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt http://tfl.nu/goj5
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (394)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.

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  (772): To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like. http://tfl.nu/xu7z
  Replies (10) Good night (281) Bad night (549)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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  (631): Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert? http://tfl.nu/xdif
  Replies (7) Good night (477) Bad night (251)

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