matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
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Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"