Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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