just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once