I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"