remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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