your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
