I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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