dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He felt like a one man threesome
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
