my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize