Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
