I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
