Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
