He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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