She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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